51 lines
2.3 KiB
Markdown
51 lines
2.3 KiB
Markdown
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title = 'Cupid is so dumb'
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date = 2025-11-04T19:35:16Z
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draft = false
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The lyrics are being played in my brain day and night.
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"A hopeless romantic all my life"
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"Surrounded by couples all the time"
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"I guess I should take it as a sign"
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But... "I gave a second chance to Cupid"
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"But now I'm left here feelin' stupid"
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I might've given more than two chances to cupid.
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But I'm still left here felling' stupid.
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"I look for his arrows every day"
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"I guess he got lost or flew away"
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But does it matter anymore?
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It shouldn't. It really shouldn't.
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Now all these jokes aside, today I went to Mensa with my group. When eating, I saw a group of people who I've been trying to hang out with, and every time they tell me they let me know to join them, but today I saw them, they hadn't told me.
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Funny how my mind jumps to conclusions quickly. Funny how I feel left alone so quickly. Or maybe it isn't funny, idk. What I do know however is that I'm hurt. There is a bit more to the story than that, but I don't want to open it up. It's way too personal to be opened.
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The thing is, all of this is just badly affecting me. I cannot really focus on my work, and studies. Maybe I should consider doing more home office? Idk. It could be good though.
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I've been trying to jump from one addiction to another, just to calm my senses, just to forget, just to move on.
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I started with ordering unhealthy food from Uber, eating Tuna and Rice, skipping breakfast, watching crap on Youtube, but none of it help. I then went to thm, that has been helping a bit, but not enough.
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I need to be productive at work, I need to take care of my health, I know if I do these, I will feel better about myself and this MDD will go away. Or at least I hope.
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For now all I know is that I'm stuck in MDD, and I cannot get out of it. I'm glad suicidal thoughs are off the table. I'm just glad. They only thing I see is darkness, but I know it will change. The sun will rise. That reminds me, is the wind rising? No? Yes? If so, we need to live.
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I think this is just so painful to me in the sense that I don't really have many friends that I consider as friends, and I'm being left alone from some groups that I don't necesserially wanna be a part of. But oh well, I should not care.
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Credit: Cupid by FIFTY FIFTY
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---
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{{< sigdl >}}
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